“People change all the time,” write Peter Bregman and Howie Jacobson in their new book, You CAN Change Other People. “They make big changes like starting businesses, getting married, moving, or getting a new job. And they make smaller changes like eating healthier, waking up earlier, or listening better. But people change when they choose to change. If they feel like you’re trying to make them change? Forget it.”
How do we help others make changes they actually want and need to make? Well, drawing on decades of experience helping leaders, employees, and others to change, Bregman and Jacobson offers a straightforward, proven, and repeatable four-step process for helping people make meaningful changes, and we get a taste of that in our conversation today.
We are always on the lookout for those books that offer us depth, give us specific takeaways and challenges, and also inspire us. Oh, and do all this without shaming us to do better or else we suck. And today’s guests have executed on a book full of ideas that does just that.
Be sure and stay tuned to the end for our Big Self Takeaway!
2:10--So how did you all come to think of this and research this for the book?
7:00--Ally is the first step to shift from critic to ally
9:05--The first step in the process actually does begin with yourself when you step in as a supporter
15:30--What to do if you've asked for permission give feedback and they (on rare occasions) say, "No."
21:48--How do you handle working with shame with individuals
27:58--The people I most want to be in conversation with
33:27--Is there anything good in a person's "bad" behavior?
41:15--Develop a plan for people to track themselves
49:25--The Big Self Takeaway